Change.
They say it's the only constant thing in life.
So many times, I wish this was wrong. I wish I'll always have my family, friends, and comforts in life. But we all know that's realistically not possible. Relatives depart, friends leave you for all the reasons in the world, and you'll experience hardships that'll push you so low it becomes too tiring to get up over and over again. But, always, I try to find the light, the meaning, to push on, putting aside all the negative emotions and strive for something better. It doesn't always work out but I hold on to something that, I believe, should also be constant in life. Hope.
Of course, that's not the me people know. The person everybody thinks I am is someone who handles things with a bit of humor, just enough work ethic to put out a decent product, and just try to have fun with everything. Also, a flirt. Wow, that's a pretty awkward translation but... you get what I mean. Also, potato. Yeyuh potato. Point is, I was never someone people would take a first glance at and say "I wanna know more about him." and I still am in that position. And, well, sometimes it's just sad.
Over the time I last posted on this blog, a lot has happened. I've had my last prom, our memorable grad ball and graduation, gone through emotional roller coasters, started college, put a lot on the line for things I want to do, move on, move up, fall down, fall into, and go topsy turvy over everything. All of those events passing by, and so much is happening still. So, I decided to open up this blog again, just as something to look back on when all has been said and done. And for my opening post, who better to be the topic than the person who I've opened a lot of my life to. No names, she knows who she is :)
Two or so months ago, I didn't even know her. She was just one of those anonymous people that I passed by when I was in school. We just happened to meet under almost impossible circumstances. Just a bit of urging the other way, and I may not even be writing this post right now, but, once the pace was set and the sparks turned into flames, we're inseparable.
Most would think this would be the sign of a lasting romance. Maybe. Not now though, maybe not in a long time. Whatever. Most would also not appreciate what they would have given they're in my situation right now. That's their loss.
Everything just fell into place, like those moments where you just go on a clearing spree in Tetris. And now, we just keep clearing more and more of those lines of blocks. Some may say time is the enemy of friendships, because time will undoubtedly wither the bond between two people, but for us? We would both answer a resounding no, and I truly believe and hope, with every bit of my being, that that would be true forevermore. The last time I ever believed as strongly in something like this is a just a memory to me now, and possibly nothing remains of what once was. As we both say, however, "Past is past." No use opening up old wounds, I can take valuable lessons from the scars alone.
Once she was someone who knew me by the person I described in the fourth section of this post. She would doubt me, not sure of my motives or who I truly am, but what really set her apart was she gave me the chance and time, and because of that would eventually know me as the person in the third section of this post. Knowing that part of me because I told you about it means that I care a lot about you and the friendship we put together.
Yet she could have said no. She could have always turned her back. She could have always not returned my messages, my calls, say she was busy with stuff and I would've understood. I've had a fair share of those in my life to understand that when that happens, you just back out because it will never amount to anything. Even so, she didn't. She surprised me that every time I would text, chat, or call, she would always answer and she looked happy when answering it. I have always told her that she had the option to turn away at anytime, and yet, still she's here. And that loyalty, combined with her awesome (although sometimes shallow) sense of humor and quirkiness, beautiful smile (never without the physical attraction, eh?), capacity to understand and feel the smallest and most dire of problems, innocence (opposites attract! :>), and all-around personality that I strongly believe matches mine and is something I want in my life, is what made me believe that she is for real, that what we have is true and can weather anything life can throw at it and so, after a long time, I've been truly happy about life. Not the type of happiness that you can get hanging out with friends, playing games, getting high grades, or even doing your hobbies. It's the type of happiness you get doing something you love, and people who've reached that level of happiness knows how good the feeling is. And I'm just excited to see how much better the feeling gets.
She told me to write a post, something to put in this blog. Here you go :) I know you'll be one of the first to read this ;)
Signing off,
-theguyintheshadows-, 1:09 a.m.
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